


What if?

by purplesky24



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Multiverse, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:17:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplesky24/pseuds/purplesky24
Summary: Alex knew that the multiverse is real, she knew about Kara’s friend Barry Allen. But finding out that Kara has a device that opens up portals to other universes is a whole other matter entirely. Before she knew it, her little side project had turned into a quest to find answers to her burning question — is there a universe where she and Maggie would have worked out? If so, how?Meanwhile, Maggie stumbled into another universe. Literally.





	What if?

**Author's Note:**

> Canon up until Crisis on Earth-X but not after. Ignore the advice Sara gave to Alex to trust her instincts - pretend that conversation never happened.
> 
> A weird, whimsical, convoluted fix-it that my mind cooked up after a few drinks.

Alex was, among other things, a scientist. So when the adrenaline from fighting Nazis wore off and both she and Kara had a long night’s sleep back on their own Earth, it occurred to her that her sister had a device that opens up a portal to another _universe_ at the push of a button.

How could she not know about this before?

It was easy enough to convince Kara to let her borrow it for a ‘research project’. It was easy enough to rope Winn in with part-showing-off and part-intimidation. It was not easy to figure out how the damn thing works, but the issues were logical puzzles that could be worked out, and it was easy in the sense that it was straightforward. 

The hard part was in admitting to herself why she was doing it. 

When she and Winn discussed potential applications, she found all sorts of excuses to insist that they don’t interfere with other universes. They should start with observation, she told Winn. They were doing it for science, and they should build something that they could use to observe other universes. 

It took up months of their free time, but they finally managed to open up a link to another universe and tap into their satellite feed. They could Google the other universes, basically.

After geeking out with Winn and sharing celebratory shots and hauling his drunken ass into his apartment, Alex opened up the laptop boosted with multiverse-Google in her darkened apartment, and confronted the empty search bar with trembling fingers. 

She had always known what she wanted to ask. 

After taking another swig of scotch, she typed in the name of her ex-fiancee. 

*

Maggie cursed under her breath as she ran after the suspect at full speed. This was not supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a quick check in with her informant, and she had asked Johnson, her partner, to wait in the cruiser. 

She knew she was supposed to call him when she saw her informant being killed right in front of her. But the killer started running, and she didn’t have time to waste. 

The killer ran down the dark empty street and turned into an alley. Maggie smirked, knowing that the alley led to a dead end. She pictured the killer slowing down as he saw the dead end. 

As she turned she saw the killer with his back to her, and she tackled him, prepared to hold him down with one hand so that she could reach for her cuffs with her other hand.

They fell, but the ground never met them as they fell through a silver portal.

*

Alex was not a huge fan of Facebook, but it was such a relief to know that it or some variant of it existed in almost every universe. As she logged out of Earth 24 and logged into Earth 25, she typed in the search string and pulled the familiar search results, and felt her heart break a little again at the picture staring back at her. 

She grabbed the paper next to her on the couch, and added another tick to the left column. It was basic data collection. ‘ _Together_ ’ on the left, ‘ _Not_ ’ on the right. 

Out of the 25 Earths she had checked, she and Maggie were together in 16 of them, not together in other 9. 

It wasn’t particularly scientific, she knew. Photos and relationship status on social media were not accurate representations of real life. Besides, this only allowed her to look into another universe, not another time. Maybe her lucky doppelgängers in those 16 Earths would all break up with Maggie eventually. Or maybe Maggie and her other selves would just meet later in the other 9 Earths. 

There was no way that a tally of how she and Maggie were doing across the 52 Earths be indicative of whether Alex should get back to Maggie. 

She was a scientist, and she knew she was fooling herself. 

She logged out of Earth 25, and logged into Earth 26. 

*

“Well, I thought I saw enough weird shit to not be surprised anymore.” An oddly familiar voice drawled as Maggie blinked into wakefulness. “But this takes the cake.”

Grey ceiling. White fluorescent lights. Flimsy mattress common to hospitals or med-bays. No windows. 

Maggie sat up, holding her throbbing head gingerly. Her fingers felt a bump in the back of her head. When did she hit her head? 

Standing a few feet away from her bed was a woman in a black leather jacket with her back to her, talking to a man in a lab coat. 

“Where am I?” 

The woman turned around, and Maggie felt her breath hitch. 

Her own face stared at her for a moment. “You’re at Central City Police Department.”

“Who are you?” Maggie whispered. 

The other her reached down and pulled out her badge. 

“I’m Detective Maggie Sawyer, CCPD Science Division. I work on cases involving metahumans and things that go bump in the night.”

*

Earth 27 hit Alex like a ton of bricks, and threw her flimsy data collection off. 

She held her breath as she stared at the picture of her and Maggie, with a young toddler between them. The girl looked around two years old and was looking at something to the right of the camera, an excited glint in her brown eyes. But both Alex and Maggie were grinning widely at the camera. This was Maggie’s profile picture. 

When Alex clicked into the profile page, most of the content was hidden, indicating a private profile. But the cover photo was telling enough — it was a picture taken at a park; Alex and Maggie crouched next to each other, a German Shepard between the two of them. Next to them, the toddler stood laughing, Kara’s arm slung over her small shoulder. All of them had brilliant smiles. 

Opening another tab, Alex searched for her own name. It was a different profile picture, but it was still the three of them. _Three_. The cover photo was taken at a beach that looked suspiciously like Midvale, with similar people and identical megawatt smiles. The only difference was the addition of Eliza in the background. 

She touched the screen with one hand, the other covering her mouth. 

_This_. This was what she had been looking for.

*

Maggie buried her face in her hands, and wished that she could wake up and find that this was a crazy dream. How was it possible that she was in Central City? And why was there another her? And she had the exact same name, it wasn’t like they could be long-lost twins.

The door opened, and Maggie looked up as her twin — it was the easiest way to think about it — came and sat on the bed next to her, dangling her feet off the bed like she was.

“Don’t you think this is creepy enough already without you trying to mirror me?” Maggie muttered. 

Her twin chuckled and dumped a manila folder onto her lap. “I happen to find this a comfortable position too.” She nodded at the folder, and Maggie picked it up warily. “Your blood work came back. You’re fully human, and you share my DNA.”

“Not possible.”

“Come on, didn’t you say you work in a Science Division as well? Can’t you be a little more open-minded about this and start thinking about explanations?”

Maggie tried not to bristle. “I —”

A phone rang. Her twin put up a hand and brought her phone to her ears. Maggie bit her lip, watching the way her face softened. Was she talking to a lover? A… wife? 

“I know, I don’t break my promises, sweetie.” She said, smiling, “I’ll see you later, okay? Give me a kiss.” She almost melted into the phone, and she turned it around a little to face the speaker, and made a big kissing sound. “All right, bye!”

Maggie stared, speechless. 

Her twin caught her look, and smiled a little sheepishly. “I know, I never thought I’d be that kind of parent too.”

“… Parent?” Maggie croaked. 

“That was my daughter.”

*

Alex couldn’t bring herself to log out of Earth 27. She had moved on to other social media, news clippings, even research papers that the Alex Danvers in Earth 27 published. She was slowly piecing together her life — hers and Maggie’s lives — in Earth 27. 

Once she finished the results, she wanted more. She went back to the Facebook pages, and started trying out random passwords that she might use. She could do this. Even if she couldn’t, Winn had taught her the basics of hacking before. She could find a way in. She could —

Her screen blacked out. She gasped at the sudden darkness. 

It was almost dawn now, and the sky outside her window was turning into a light grey. 

She looked down. The cables were still plugged in. There was no way that the battery died. What happened? 

Just as suddenly, the screen blinked into life again, showing a woman on screen. 

Her. 

*

“Who’s your wife?” Maggie blurted. Her heart thundered in her ears. 

The change was dramatic. The smile on her twin’s face vanished, and Maggie could almost see her walls coming up. “That’s none of your business.”

Maggie swallowed. “You just said we share the same DNA.”

“Doesn’t mean you have the right to pry.” Her twin hopped off the bed and took a few steps. When she turned around, her face was hard, and she crossed her arms. “So. I have a hypothesis now that I know you’re not a metahuman. You could be from another universe. I have a contact at STAR labs who knows about this. I’m going to get him and see what he thinks.”

“Wait,” Maggie hopped off the bed as her twin made for the door. “Let me come with you!”

“Are you kidding?” Her twin’s face is incredulous. “ _You_ are freaked out about this. Imagine what would happen if other people see you. Stay here.”

The door closed behind her, and Maggie heard the click of a lock. She was stuck here. Stuck in an empty room with a million questions.

*

“Alex Danvers from Earth 38?” The other Alex asked.

Alex stared. This woman looked like her, but there was a hardness to her that she did not recognise. The other Alex looked a little older, more weary.

“Well, I suppose you won’t know which Earth you’re from,” The other Alex continued, “Even if you did manage to tap into the multiverse. Did Winn help too?”

Alex finally got her throat working. “Who are you?”

The other Alex raised an eyebrow. “Your doppelgänger from another Earth, of course. You’ve done enough digging across the multiverse in the last two hours to know what this means. Actually, you did so much digging that it triggered an alert.”

“Alert?”

The eyebrow came down, and the other Alex was all business again. “I built an alert to find people who are attempting to reach across multiple universes. Experience showed that these never lead to anything good.”

Alex opened her mouth and closed it. She had never thought that she would come face to face with her doppelgänger. Could she ask?

“You need to stop this, Alex. Before you do something you regret.”

“Are you… are you and Maggie together?”

The other Alex’s jaw clenched, and her eyes narrowed a little. “You can’t make decisions based on what you see in other universes, Alex.”

Alex swallowed, tears building in her eyes. “I need to know. I’ve been asking myself what ifs for so long. Now I know the what ifs can be real. I need to know what’s possible. If there is any chance that Maggie and I —”

“Listen,” The other Alex leaned forward, frustration on her face, “Stop doing this to yourself. You need to live your own life, in your own Earth. Leave the multiverse alone.”

“Like you did?” Alex straightened up, her anger rising. “You didn’t just tap into the multiverse, did you? You built a freaking alert to _monitor_ activity in the multiverse —”

“Because I made an unforgivable mistake.” The other Alex snapped. “I accidentally killed someone when I went to another universe looking for answers. I killed my doppelgänger by mistake, Alex.

“I made her Maggie a widow.”

*

There was a clock on the wall, but Maggie was half-convinced that it was broken. It showed that it had only been an hour since she woke up in this strange room, but it felt much longer, and Maggie was near crazy with questions. 

Where was this, exactly? What did her twin mean about another universe? How did she get here? Where was the suspect she was chasing? Was her twin basically her? If so, how did she have a daughter? Who was the other parent? 

Could it… could it really be…

The door opened, and her twin and a short hispanic guy strode in. Maggie hopped off the bed. 

“Whoa.” The guy strode closer, staring wide eyes at Maggie and looking back and forth between the two Maggies. 

“I’m not an exhibit.” Maggie growled. 

“This is Cisco Ramon from STAR Labs.” Her twin said calmly as she closed the door. “Cisco, well, you can see for yourself.”

“Are you a Detective as well?” Cisco asked, looking like he was barely restraining himself from poking Maggie.

“Yes. I’m from National City PD, Science Division.” Maggie vowed that she would punch the guy if he did poke her.

“You have metahumans as well, then?”

Maggie shook her head. “Aliens.”

“ _Aliens_?” Cisco repeated in awe, rubbing his hands in excitement. “What kinds of aliens? Are they —”

“Cisco.” Her twin grumbled. Maggie caught her twin’s eyes and shared an eye-roll. 

“Right.” Cisco straightened up. “It does seem like you’re from another universe. How did you end up here?”

Maggie sighed. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

*

Alex leaned back on her couch, feeling dizzy. “You… you killed…”

Her doppelgänger looked away briefly. “Yes. I was like you, fascinated by the idea of multiverse and possibilities. I was — I was in a bad place with my Maggie too. And I wanted answers.” 

She shook her head bitterly, “Who am I kidding? Not answers. We both know we can’t get answers from this. We’re looking for a hint. A sign that we can work this out with Maggie, and that we are meant to be together.”

Alex closed her eyes. Earth 27 was her sign. 

“I went to this Earth, where Maggie and I — where the Maggie and Alex there were married, with a daughter.” Alex opened her eyes, and saw that her doppelgänger had closed hers. A tear escaped. “They didn’t know about the multiverse then. That Alex — she worked for an organisation called ARGUS, and they had enemies. She thought I was a threat and shot to kill. I…”

“You reacted.” Alex said, feeling cold.

“I see you’re not just a scientist as well.” Her doppelgänger said with a humourless smile. 

“I’m not —” Alex cleared her throat. “I’m not going there. I’m just looking —”

“That’s what you tell yourself. You started with just a quick Google, didn’t you? And what were you trying to do before I stopped you? You were escalating. You were thinking about hacking into her account. Within hours, you’ll justify a visit. You’ll want to talk to that Alex or Maggie. I know you, Alex. You know I do.”

Alex leaned back and turned up to the ceiling, covering her eyes with her arm. 

“Stop this before you do anything you regret, Alex. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“But what if, Alex?” Alex said, roughing wiping her eyes dry. “What if they figured out a way, and they can tell me —”

“You won’t get answers or instructions, Alex. Their circumstances are different from yours, they live in a different world than you. It won’t help.”

“That’s what you keep saying, but what if —”

“Damn it, it’s not about the what ifs!”

*

The door closed behind Cisco, leaving Maggie once again alone with her twin. 

“Four hours?” Maggie asked now that there was no need to hide her skepticism. “Can he really build a portal to bring me back home in four hours?”

Her twin shrugged. “He’s always delivered on his promises.”

“If you say so.”

“What, don’t you trust me?”

Maggie held her twin’s gaze for a moment. Her twin had crossed her arms, and the defiance in her eyes were familiar. So familiar, and yet so different. 

“I don’t know how to.” Maggie admitted. “You’re me, but you’re so… different.”

Her twin raised an eyebrow. “We’re both detectives working in the Science Division of local PD. You’re wearing a leather jacket that I’m tempted to steal. I don’t see how we can be more alike.”

“You’re a mom.” Maggie blurted.

“Oh.”

“I’m not.” Maggie continued, looking down in an attempt to hide the pain from a rush of memories. All those arguments. All the firsts that they gave up. “I can’t imagine ever becoming a mom.”

Her twin walked over silently and stopped next to her, leaning back on the side of the bed. “I couldn’t either. Until Alex changed my mind.”

Maggie closed her eyes and didn’t stop her tears from falling.

*

“What else is there, Alex?” Alex snapped at the screen. “I pushed Maggie away because I wanted to be a mom and she didn’t. It’s been months and I can’t get over her. I need to know if this could have gone differently. I need to know —”

“You need to get over your damn pride and go after her!” Her doppelgänger jabbed a finger at her. “Have you not realise what you’ve done? If your Maggie is anything like mine, you know she struggled with feeling inadequate. If you’ve loved her, you must have tried telling her that she was enough, that you would love her for who she is. 

“But because she doesn’t think she wants to be a mom, all of a sudden she’s not enough for you? You went back on your _word_ , Alex. It’s on you.”

Alex slouched, her indignation slipping away and leaving a horrible guilt in its wake. 

“Don’t think like a scientist on this, Alex.” Her doppelgänger continued, more quietly. “It’s not about probabilities and what ifs. It’s about how much you love her, how hard you want to fight to be with her.”

“How much do you love her, Alex?”

*

“We had a big argument about it.” Maggie’s twin said quietly, steadfastly not looking at Maggie as she wiped her tears. “We almost broke up. But there was this drug bust where we found this orphan. She wouldn’t stop crying unless she was with me, for some weird reason.”

Maggie snorted. 

“I know.” There was a smile in her twin’s voice. “I couldn’t believe it myself. I was stuck with her while CPS tried to find a more permanent home for her. Alex… she saved the day. I was completely lost, but Alex knew what to do. The kid liked her after a few days, and seeing the two of them together… it made me realise I wanted it. I wanted a family with Alex, even if I didn’t think I’d be a good mom.”

“So what, are you suggesting that I go pick up an orphan kid and knock on Alex’s door?”

Her twin rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? I was just telling you what happened to me. If I’m suggesting anything, it’s this: ask yourself why is it that you don’t see yourself becoming a mom. Be honest about it, and think about what it means to be a mom alongside Alex. You won’t —" she swallowed, “you’re not supposed to be alone in this.”

*

Alex closed her laptop, and leaned back on the couch, her mind racing despite the exhaustion weighing down on her. 

_How much do you love her, Alex?_

_I love her so much, that it hurts_. She told Kara this months ago, and it was still true.

Was it enough for her to give up becoming a mom? Was Maggie not enough? 

Life is short, like Maggie said. And Alex was almost killed by Nazis while attending a wedding on another Earth. It sounded crazy when she thought about it, but then again, her life was crazy. 

Was there time for her to dwell on what ifs? 

*

“All right, just step through the portal, and you’ll be right where you were before you got sucked here.”

Maggie nodded, and extended a hand to Cisco. “Thank you.”

Cisco grinned as he shook her hand. “I wish we have more time to talk about aliens. But I know you detectives, you must have some case to go back to. Oh, or do you need to get back to your babysitter?”

Maggie shot her twin a quick look. 

“Shut up, Cisco.” Her twin shook her head and extended her hand as well. “Don’t mind him.”

Maggie gripped her twin’s hand and pulled her forward into a hug. “Thank you.”

There were so many things that she didn’t know how to say. Thank you for showing me what was possible. Thank you for giving your Alex what she deserved. Thank you for telling me what I didn’t know about myself.

Her twin patted her back briefly. “You’re welcome. Think about what I said?”

Maggie pulled back, and tried to smile. “I will.”

With another nod to Cisco, she turned around and stepped through the portal.

When the alley appeared around her again, her phone buzzed crazily with a number of messages and notifications. Maggie scrolled through them with a grimace, wondering if anyone would buy her explanation for where she had gone in the past few hours. Wait, no, the date was wrong. She had been gone for a full day. 

She sighed. Not that it would make a difference. Her report would sound crazy no matter how long she was gone for. 

Her finger froze at one message notification. It was from Alex, asking if she wanted to meet up for coffee. 

She thought back about what happened on the other Earth. She recalled the picture of the two-year-old daughter that her twin showed her. 

What if? 

_Sure_ , she texted back. _Name the time and place._

*

Alex stared at Maggie across the table as the waitress left with their orders. She was as beautiful as Alex remembered, and her hands itched to reach out and touch her.

Maggie held her gaze. None of them spoke for a few moments. 

A baby started screaming somewhere at the back of the restaurant, and they almost jumped. 

Alex winced. “I can see why you don’t want to be a mom.”

Maggie blinked in surprise, and Alex cursed herself. What a way to start the conversation. “Sorry,” Alex said quickly, “I didn’t mean to —”

“No, it’s all right.” Maggie said, looking down for a moment, “We have to talk about it at some point. That is, if this is… did you want to talk about work, Alex?”

 _Alex_. Maggie only called her Alex when it was very personal. Even in their banter, it was always Danvers. 

“No, no. I don’t want to talk about work at all.” Alex bit her lip. “I was hoping to —” She swallowed. Stop jumping the gun, she told herself. “How are you doing, Maggie?”

“I…” Maggie seemed taken aback by the abrupt changes in topic, “I’m all right, I guess. How are you?”

Alex tried not to wince. They used to talk so easily, and now Alex didn’t know how to talk to her. All she wanted to know now, firstly, was whether Maggie had moved on. She couldn’t bring herself to say what she wanted to say if Maggie was already seeing someone else.

“I’m… the same. You know. Work. Kara.”

Maggie smiled a little, her dimples showing. God, she was so beautiful. 

“Are you seeing anyone?” Maggie asked, and Alex blinked in surprise. 

“I…” _...had a one-night stand with an assassin on a different universe_. No, she couldn’t say that. Not right now. “… I tried. Didn’t work out.”

“Mine didn’t either.”

Hope sprung up in her chest, and Alex clutched to it. “I was hoping… I can’t stop thinking about you, Maggie. I was hoping we can give this another try.”

The waitress came with their coffees, and Alex had to restrain herself from pushing the waitress away so that she could see Maggie’s face. Instead, she sat very still, and waited impatiently for the waitress to leave. 

When she finally did, Alex was met with Maggie’s smile. “I was hoping we could, too.”

*

Hours and lifetimes later, Maggie turned around on the bed and closed her arms around Alex, resting her head on Alex’s chest and feeling her heart beat in her ears. Alex rested her hand on Maggie’s back. Everything felt so familiar that it was like the months before didn’t happen. 

But of course it did, and neither of them could pretend otherwise.

“Are you sure you want kids, Maggie?” Alex asked softly, “I thought about this a lot over the past few months. You’re enough for me, Maggie. I’m so sorry I didn’t realise this earlier, but you’re enough for me. I want to be with you more than anything.”

Maggie tightened her arms around Alex a little. Her heart swelled with Alex’s assertion that she was enough, but she knew — she had seen for herself — that she could be more. And she might even want more. 

“I’m saying I’m open to having kids. I wasn’t — I wasn’t thinking about this properly, before. I couldn’t imagine myself being a mom. But I can imagine myself being a mom with you, Alex.”

Alex nudged her chin, and when Maggie looked up Alex kissed her gently on her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alex nudged her again. “Come here.”

Maggie straightened up a little, smiling. “Why?”

“Because life is short,” Alex said, hands reaching up to cup Maggie’s face, “And we should kiss the girls we want to kiss.”


End file.
